I am a bad blogger

I have come to the conclusion that I am not a great blogger!

I want to keep it up because of the sweet friendships I have developed because of it, and I so enjoy reading others blogs, so I want to keep y'all updated, but I'm not sure during this EXTREMELY busy season in my life where it fits! But don't give up on me, I really do want to keep my friends from afar updated on our going ons...

As for today, I have been up since 2AM and finally got out of bed at 5 and have been just doing what ever and getting myself organized and ready for the week ahead..

This weekend has been rainy and in the (wait for it) in the 70's....oh my it was a wonderful Sat of painting and crafting...I am redoing my daughters room for her 10th birthday, so I'm going completely all out! It's going to be darling...Yes, I plan on showing the finished product when it is done!

Today I am going to be seeing my brother for lunch, which I'm so excited...he has been a tremendous asset to my journey of founding a non-profit ministry. Not too much further in the process, but getting closer! I have a lawyer to do the legal stuff...so that is something..there are so many profound decisions that seem scary to me...positions to be filled with people who share the same heart and passions(not paid of course) , and all the words that must fit into sentences just so to articulate the purpose and mission of our ministry...I know how the heart beats to serve, but to place that in business type terms with out it losing it's umph seems, well, HARD!!

All I know is when I have the opportunity to teach the Word and love people for the sake of Christ, everything is right in my world. Other people in ministry seem to complicate all those things and that is the most frustrating part I have found as pursuit of ministry has been more intentional..

I have to be honest, why do we complicate the simplicity of Christ? He is truly what life is about, and I am confused how so many in ministry and leadership seem to think it is their responsibility to critique and complicate...I am not polished yet I'm teachable, I am not eloquent, yet my speech is filled with love and grace...I see the heart of a people who want to go deep into relationship with the Lord and are overwhelmed with programs and "perfectly structured" fill in the blanks.....________________!!

I know my calling is to Love the Lord my God with all my heart soul mind and strength, and to love others as I love myself...(simple concept)

My heart is broken from some things I have seen lately in ministry...ministry is about serving others, loving others, leading others to Christ...not personal agenda's..

Yeah I am founding a ministry, and you may ask well, don't you have an agenda...the answer..
YES!! My agenda is what the Lord desires! To teach His Word to who ever will listen...Paul says he didn't have eloquent speech or persuasive words, yet he reached multitudes, he was unpolished and rough, yet the Lord esteemed him to do great things for the kingdom. There is a lost and hurting world out there and I desire to love them and serve them like nobodies business!! Whew..

When I knew for sure the Lord was calling me into full time ministry, there was one thing I knew for sure...I am not qualified for this!! However, my heart before the Lord, you say in your word you use the foolish things of this earth to confound the wise, there is none more foolish than me, so i am going to trust you can do what You say You can do in me...I am amazed at what the Lord has shown me in the last 5 years, talk about an education...one thing is for certain, He Is the Lord and I am amazed...

I'm not sure how to close this post because it is a culmination of scattered thoughts, so I will close with prayer..

Lord Jesus, you are the one and only! How I ache to serve You! How I desire to see Your return and to see Your bride as spotless and beautiful as You see her! I love you so...
Give me a heart to love You and to know You more than anything else on this earth, You are so worthy!
~Amen